Slowing Down for Sunsets, Sleep, and Smiles

My motivation and energy have been a bit tapped out lately. I’m guessing the combination of end-of-year school activity and a bout of anemia is mostly to blame. And a very full workload. Naps have become a part of my daily routine and I haven’t produced much in terms of music, writing, and new products for my business. I’ve read plenty of books, but that’s about all I have to show for the past month.

Usually, when I get into a phase like this, I just push myself harder and talk myself out of the slump. But this time, my intuition told me it was more important for me to recharge and take time for recreation. And to take an iron supplement. The second definition of recreation, according to Lexico.com, is the action or process of creating something again. What I’ve been needing to recreate is my sense of growth and expansion.

A few years ago, I had a two year period when I tried a lot of new things, took chances, and changed my life in dramatic ways. But it is so easy to get comfortable and settle into familiar routines and, basically, to shrink. Which is what I’ve been doing. I realized I needed to challenge myself to grow in new and different ways and do more things I’m afraid of. But before that, I took some time for rest and fun.

Alan and I just had a few days at home sans kids for the first time in three months. Rather than simply working harder, unhindered by family responsibilities, we decided to spend most of the time together doing enjoyable things like listening to live music, sitting in the gazebo as the sun went down, taking a walk and run together, watching a couple of films, and generally taking a break from our regular work schedules.

I admit to staving off guilt when I thought of all the tasks I was allowing to pile up. I thought of how far I need to climb to become a success on social, with my online shop, with this blog. My tendency has always been to work harder, but this time I knew it was time to breathe, laugh, relax, sleep more, and slow down.

At the end of our long weekend, before sitting down to write, I took a walk in the twilight. Redwing blackbirds sang in the cattails, the orderly fields with their rows of soybeans and corns rested, the trees at the edges exhaled, and I felt more connected to the universe and to myself with every step. I felt my imagination stir, and, as I turned back up the hill and headed home, I looked forward to work once more.

If you’re feeling burnout, I hope you can find or make pockets of time to relax and recover. Maybe you can’t take a weekend, but maybe one day or even an hour a day to do something you enjoy. If you have favorite ways to avoid burnout, please share in comments!

Monday Meditation

I sat cross-legged on my yoga mat one morning at the beginning of practice and began to cry. The instructor was guiding us toward the place we wanted to be and told us to focus on that, rather than the stuff in our heads, and the things that were wrong.

I was weighted by much that was wrong–real and imagined. Things I have continually heaped on myself since my divorce and things that I wanted to change about my own life and surroundings. Ways I attempted to control circumstances so I could bring order to places in my mind and body that I felt were lacking. I was a mess–full of anxiety and wrapped tightly into a cocoon of sadness and guilt and darkness.

On the mat, I began to moved through the poses. The focus was on strength and the idea was that we are stronger than we think we are. The poses became more intense. I shook in holding poses, (planks, especially) and felt fatigue hitting me in waves as I did yet another vinyasa. But as I continued through the difficulty of the practice I felt stronger and calmer and more assured that my life was a thing of complicated beauty.

Off the mat, several hours later, I began to meditate on empowering thoughts. Then I wrote them down. You know what? All that anxiety and guilt and regret and need to control my surroundings just melted away! It was such a relief!

This was so helpful to me that I wanted to share my list with you. I encourage you to make your own–it’s actually kind of fun and I think you’ll feel anxiety slip away and a sense of calm and strength center you.

I Can

I can be my best self today.

I can tell the truth today.

I can enjoy my life today.

I can be kind and generous to myself today.

I can be kind and generous to others today.

I can bring ideas and solutions to work today.

I can accomplish what I need to today.

I can listen today.

I can say I’m sorry today.

I can release the past today.

I can learn today.

I can be enough today.

I can matter to others today.

I can love people today.

I can take care of my body today.

I can take care of my soul today.

I can love my children today.

I can love my husband today.

I can stay in the light and not hide today.

I can be a good friend today.

I can drink enough water today.

I can get outside and let Nature embrace me today.

I can laugh today.

I can communicate better today.

I can improve on yesterday today.

I can say no when I need to today.

I can say yes when it’s wholehearted today.

I can make mistakes and grow today.

I can be God’s child today.

I Still Struggle with Excuses after 30 Years of Exercising

Here I am working out in my messy bedroom.

It’s true. I’ve never been a natural-born exerciser. Until age 8, I suffered with chronic nosebleeds, so I was discouraged from engaging in any activity that was too strenuous, and was unable to participate in gym class. My siblings and I were also anemic (a hereditary condition) so I didn’t have a whole lot of energy. I spent free time reading, drawing, writing, and crafting.

At 12, I began learning about health and fitness and decided I needed an exercise routine. With birthday and Christmas money, I purchased a few workout videotapes (this was 1988!) and worked out every day in our living room. With my low energy levels, it was a challenge each morning to follow through on my exercise plan. I tried running during this time as well, but had trouble breathing, so I didn’t run often; I didn’t learn until I was 38 that I had asthma!

All through my teens, I lifted light weights, walked and hiked, and did cardio and interval training workouts at home. Whenever I’d feel bored, which was every few months, I’d buy a new workout video or try a workout from a fitness magazine. I did all of this on my own steam: no family member or friend encouraged me, supported me, or worked out with me. That would have been great, but it wasn’t my story. The ways I encouraged myself, were reading books and magazines on health and fitness as well as reminding myself how good I felt after working out each day.

Enter my twenties and raising two kids: working out was still my normal. I had a treadmill and walked or run/walked as well as working out in my living room. The infant phase was rough because I would often be on the treadmill with a baby in a bouncy seat wailing while I walked, which was no fun. But they eventually got used to entertaining themselves for an hour a day while I worked out. And since we homeschooled, when they were school aged, I would feed them breakfast, do a couple of subjects with them and then assign them a few things to do on their own (like their spelling list or math page).

My thirties were a bit smoother because I didn’t have to deal with babies, but I had a full schedule with homeschooling, church responsibilities, and family expectations, so it was imperative to keep exercising to avoid going completely crazy. Although my energy remained low, often with me taking short naps in the afternoons, I continued exercising.

Let me just say that each and every morning it is the same. I wake up with the intention to exercise. I am tired, always tired, so the excuses start in.

Here are some of the best of the best:

(You might recognize a few!)

“You don’t have energy to exercise today.”

“If you exercise, how are you going to do everything else you need to do today.”

“You have so much to do today: you really don’t have time for this now.”

“It’s so unfair that so-and-so is naturally slim and has never exercised a day in her life! And you exercise all the time and what good does it do? You might as well give up.”

“No matter what you do, you’ll never look good. What’s the point of trying?”

“You’ve been wanting to lose this same ten pounds for two years. This isn’t doing anything.”

“What if you injure yourself again? Doesn’t your back feel tight already? If you throw your back out again, you’ll be back to square one. Maybe you should just stretch and call it a day.”

After I go through the litany of excuses each morning, I remind myself why I need to work out:

I will have more energy afterward.

My mood will get a boost.

My heart and whole body will be stronger.

I don’t want to be an out-of-shape middle-aged woman whose body is always breaking down.

The act of doing something I don’t want to do that’s good for me will help me follow through in other areas the rest of the day.

This is the only earth suit I have and I need to take care of it.

The most successful and busy people in the world work out every day, so you can too.

Then I choose to put on my workout clothes and either head to the gym to walk/run on the treadmill, I do a Barre3 class or Glo yoga class in my bedroom, or do a cardio interval training video in the living room, just like the old days.

My favorite video workout can be found for free on Youtube. It’s from the 90s and features Elle Macpherson and Karen Voight. It was filmed in Hawaii and is one of those not-too-hard and not-too-easy workout that works every major muscle group, has three cardio and three strength sections and a great stretching segment at the end. If you’d like to do a retro workout, give it a try!

So readers, after you go through your morning excuses, I hope you’ll throw on your workout clothes, lace up your sneakers and go for a walk, run, work out with a video online, or just dance around your kitchen. The most important thing? Just move your body every day!!!