Here are a few of my favorite sources of inspiration and learning from the past week or so. Enjoy!
Podcasts: As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been listening to Brendon Burchard’s Motivation podcast. It has helped pull me out of the doldrums and rekindle my vision for my business, my relationships, and my every day life. He’s a bit “Energizer Bunny”, which you might expect from a motivational speaker. I highly respect him though because he’s built six multi-million dollar companies with the personal growth, mindset, and business acumen that he shares on both his Motivation and Marketing Podcasts.
If you’re a business owner or simply trying to uplevel in any area of your life, give Brendon’s podcasts a try! Yes, you’ll definitely pick up on that masculine energy, although he preaches rest, relaxation, and refueling as well as focus, scheduling, and simple hard work.
Books: This week I read The Vibrant Years by Sonali Dev and was absorbed into the story from page one. It unfolds the story of Bindu, a sixty-something grandmother, as well as her forty-something daughter-in-law and granddaughter Cullie. These three women, at different times in their lives, are discovering who they are at their various ages, healing from past hurts, falling in love, and certainly not living by societal standards. It’s exciting, heartwarming, and all I’ll say is it ends on a positive note. I need this kind of book in my life.
I’m reading The Joy and Light Bus Company from Alexander McCall Smith. If you’ve never tried The Number 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency Series, I recommend them so highly! I’ve been reading and re-reading these (on Audible only) for years. I love the slow pace, the characters that return in each book, the soft and witty humor, the conundrums and mysteries they work through and solve, the accents, the bush tea drinking. This is Book 22 and the next one in the series is in my Audible queue waiting to be read. They are delightful.
Essential oil blend: I am blowing my own trumpet here. Recently I filled some new bottles of my Winter Wellness Diffuser Blend, and said, “This blend smells so good!” And it’s very helpful for supporting respiratory health, decongesting stuffy noses, as a cough suppressant, and to boost immune strength. I’ve been using it in my bedroom diffuser at night to help keep my nose clear. It works!
That’s all for this week, friends! I hope you check some of these favorites out and let me know if you do. (For the full list including poetry, exercise, music, and more books, joinmy Patreon at the Literary Society Tier or higher.)
How are you feeling? If you’re in need of some comfort, nurturing, and uplifting, you’re not alone! I’ve been hearing this a lot lately. Maybe the winter has you down; perhaps you’re grieving the loss of any number of people and circumstances; and maybe you’re still processing “the lost years”, or still feel stuck in them due to worries about catching Covid.
If you nodded your head to one or more of the above, I’m sending you a virtual hug. And I want to encourage you to comfort yourself. By this I mean to care for yourself in all the ways you need attention in body, mind, and soul. Good nutrition, exercise, prayer or meditation, enough sleep and rest, play/creativity, water, supplements, a bunch of flowers, a walk in the woods or around the block, connecting with your friends and loved ones, therapy, etc., are all ways to comfort yourself.
It’s easy, when we’re feeling down, to let all that go and just wallow, eat junk, drink too much, isolate, binge watch or obsessively scroll. We think we are comforting ourselves when we check out and self-medicate in some way.
Did you know that’s actually not comfort? Comfort means “to strengthen greatly”. And no strengthening is happening when we treat ourselves poorly–we’re weakening and abusing ourselves greatly instead. This actually makes us more fragile and less able to handle what is difficult in our lives.
We need to do what is life-giving for us. To love ourselves enough to prioritize our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. I have to bring up the golden rule because sometimes people get tetchy about loving themselves, especially those with Christian roots or identities. Loving and serving others they can handle, but when they’re encouraged to love themselves it sounds self-centered. Um, it’s in the Bible, ya’ll. The second of the Ten Commandments. “Love your neighbor as…yourself!” There’s an assumption in that commandment that you love yourself before you go love your neighbor.
So back to comfort. Ask yourself: In what ways am I in need of comfort (aka to be strengthened greatly)? How could I bring comfort into my life today in practical ways? What tools do I already have to strengthen myself? Where might I need help or accountability in order to care for/comfort myself?
Personal story: I am still dealing with the effects of Covid from six months ago. My brain is foggy sometimes, I tire out easily and get this trembly weakness in my legs and have to sit down. Sometimes I have to rest for a couple days in a row. Because of this, I hadn’t worked out as hard or as often as I’m used to. I’d work out one day and take three off–this was unheard of for me! I’ve been working out every day since I was twelve. I felt so bummed about how out of shape I had become, how weak I felt, how I’d lost stability in my core and mobility particularly in my hips. I kept waiting for things to get better. But they weren’t.
Then I listened to motivational speaker Brendon Burchard talk about making a Don’t Wait list and beginning to do the things I truly desired to do. And one of these things for me was getting in shape and feeling good in my body again. So I signed up for a challenging 4-week exercise program.
The first week was really difficult and I felt a bit discouraged because it was harder than I thought it would be. My brain tried to tell me it’s too hard, maybe I should quit, etc., but I stuck with it ( and kept listening to Brendon Burchard’s Motivation podcast for encouragement).
I’m nearing Week 4 and can feel my body getting stronger and firmer, my mobility range is growing, and I’m setting my sights on a 100 Day Program that I didn’t think I’d ever do again. And my confidence is higher because I’m keeping my word to myself and doing what I know is good for me to do.
This is an example of me comforting myself! It’s the opposite of what we might think of as comfort, right? Oh, and by the way, I didn’t overdo it, injure myself, or punish myself with exercise. This is a balanced program and includes rest days. I’m feeling better, so this is the right thing for me.
I’m not suggesting you sign up for a challenging exercise program. Comfort could look like many different things, depending on what you need. Sometimes a cup of tea, a nap, a book or Netflix, and a blanket is the comfort we need. My point is, if you’re feeling down, or are in a difficult season, take a look at your daily routines/habits and see how you might care for yourself. Being good to yourself will help you feel as good as you possibly can during whatever you’re going through. I hope you find the comfort you need!
One of the main principles of Ayurveda is that like increases like and opposites balance. If you have an excess of Vata (air + space) in your body, mind, and emotions, then you’re likely moving from activity to activity, not finishing things, are all over the place with your thoughts, and your daily health & wellness routine is non-existent. You may experience sleeplessness, heightened anxiety, and irregular hunger, eating, and digestion. So what would be helpful is not more of the same.
To balance all that mobility and flighty thinking/eating/doing, we need to bring in some earth qualities, which can be found in Kapha dosha. Basically, we need to slow down, tether our mind, body, and emotions with regular practices (as well as the grounding, nourishing foods I mentioned in last week’s post). We need the heavy, dense, slow, constant qualities of earth to soothe and stabilize our overwrought nervous systems.
There’s actually quite a growing number of Ayurvedic teachers who feel our modern way of life has nearly everyone in Vata excess. In that case, most of us would benefit from these habits.
So what does Ayurveda recommend specifically? Here are three helpful habits to begin balancing Vata.
Set a routine: Wake with the sun, eat, and sleep at the same times every day. It might seem boring, especially if you’re a person with a Vata-dominant constitution or are experiencing high Vata. It might seem exciting and preferable to do whatever you want, whenever you want. That only contributes to the imbalance. As much as is possible, get yourself on a schedule and do your best to stick to it.
Morning practices: Meditate, pray, walk, or do gentle and nourishing physical practices like yoga or Qigong during early morning hours. Resist the urge to open up your email, jump on your phone and start scrolling. Set aside the first hour or two of waking up for you to receive and enjoy spiritual and/or mental nourishment, and warm your muscles and joints with a gentle physical practice. This will give you a sense of calm and ease that will stay with you the rest of the day.
Do oil self-massage, or abhyanga, every day either before or after showering. Here’s a short how-to video on abhyanga by Kate O’Donnell. If you have dry skin, you can use sesame oil ( I prefer refined sesame oil), or if you have sensitive skin, you can use almond, sunflower, or coconut oil, as long as you don’t have allergies. Coconut oil is a cooling oil, so it is preferred for hot weather or those with mostly Pitta constitutions. If you are in the US, you can purchase high quality massage oils, including ones with herbal blends, from Banyan Botanicals. Abhyanga nourishes your body and mind, increases circulation, moves stagnant lymph, improves vision, tones the body’s tissues, and more. Read in depth about it here.
Because Vata needs consistency, I encourage you to start slow and build your routine over time. Maybe this week you can establish a wake, sleep, and eat schedule. And after you become consistent with that, add a morning meditation. After that becomes regular, add abhyanga. If you attempt to do everything, you may become overwhelmed and do nothing. Better to begin small and make things as easy as possibly for yourself.
I sit at my desk in my library and watch the maple tree dance outside the window. It’s a mild October day, and the wind is blowing fast from the South. In Ayurveda, Vata (the combined elements of air+space) is increased when the weather is windy. This means I might experience heightened anxiety, feeling uncertain, unstable, and fearful, and I have a tendency to spend more time wrapped up in my thoughts.
My digestion is always aware of a windy, Vata day; if I haven’t eaten properly, I will most likely experience gas and bloating, especially in the afternoon (2-6pm) which is Vata time of day. I may also be awake sometime between 2-6am worrying about everything and anything.
How can one feel best during Vata season (which tends to be Autumn) or in Vata weather (cool or cold, moving/windy, dry, light)? Think about nurturing and nourishing yourself. Your digestion needs some TLC to counteract Vata’s effects. Food-wise, you need warm, soft, nutritious foods with plenty of liquid to keep your digestive system purring and prevent constipation, gas, or bloating.
I’ve included a short list below of suggested foods/prep methods as well as a skip it list. Also check out Dr. John Douillard’s LifeSpa Fall/Winter Grocery List to print out and stick on your fridge. I’ve had this list on my fridge for several years. It can help you figure out what kinds of ingredients to cook with.
Please remember that Ayurveda respects the individual. Everyone is different. For example, you may be able to eat plenty of beans or a raw salad with no problem, and your partner may need to give them a break for now. Pay attention to what you eat and how food makes you feel at different times of the year. You have sovereignty over your own health and by paying attention, you can experience a greater level of wellbeing.
The Eat It List
Eat warming, soft foods, root vegetables, and brothy soups and stews.
All the winter squashes and pumpkins–yum!
Meat, eggs, and fish are all good this time of year (if you eat them).
Cook your vegetables. Steam, roast, sauté your veggies or put them in soups or stews.
Make fruit compotes or crisps, bake your apples.
Hot cereals are encouraged for breakfast! Baked or stovetop oatmeal, quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat. Try a new recipe, a different grain (if you tolerate grains).
Yes to dairy or non-dairy milks, yogurts, cheese, etc., depending on what you tolerate.
All nuts and seeds are good (only if you’re not allergic, of course).
Drink warm or room-temperature water. Cold water and food slows your digestion.
Teas and drinks with warming spices and moon milks, golden milk, raw hot cacao are comforting.
The Skip It List
You may need to skip legumes this time of year, especially larger beans & peas, as they may cause digestive distress.
Skip cold, raw salads and veggies (unless you have a strong digestion).
Same for cold smoothies, protein shakes, etc. If you can’t give up smoothies, bring the ingredients to room temperature before drinking.
Dry, cold snacks and treats like crackers, chips, hard cookies, etc. may promote constipation
My recommendations for Vata Season foods are suggestions based on my own experience as well as what I’ve learned studying Ayurveda in the last four years. Please only do what is right for you. You know your body, what you can or can’t tolerate, what you’re allergic to, etc.Please consult your healthcare provider with any concerns or questions about food choices.
By following a seasonal diet, based on the part of our planet that you live in, you will become more aware of and connected to the natural world, which we are all part of. And you may experience greater balance and wellbeing for yourself. If you’d like to read more, check out Banyan Botanical’s Seasonal Guide for Vata Season. Next week, I’ll talk about daily habits for Vata Season.
*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I will receive a small compensation at no extra cost to you. This helps keep my blog ad-free.
I’ve enjoyed Danielle Walker’s cookbooks and followed her journey on Instagram for years, so it was a treat to read her new memoir, Food Saved Me. Her story was especially interesting because I also live with food intolerances and chronic health issues.
The book is laid out in a linear fashion: from before she first became ill to the present time. She shared her experiences in her clear, sweet Danielle style: very personal and vulnerable. We get a behind-the-scenes look at a young woman who was hit with ulcerative colitis and, with the support of her husband, sought for answers and relief from Western and alternative medicine, herbal and other supplements, and dietary changes.
Her success as a cookbook author started in her own kitchen as she tirelessly experimented and learned how to make delicious dishes, including childhood favorites, with whole, unprocessed foods and without a long list of foods that trigger flare-ups. If you like cooking, cookbooks, and food blogs, you’ll love reading about how she became a household name–especially among those of us who have dietary restrictions.
She takes us through both the times of sunlight and dark despair. And although she is adamant that what she eats has made the biggest difference in her health, she doesn’t hide the fact that medication has been necessary at certain points.
At the end of the book are helpful lists of both recommended foods and those to steer clear of, as well as several recipes. And her husband, Ryan, has a helpful and encouraging note for the partners of those with chronic illness.
I loved this book because Danielle is very open and honest about her own journey. And I also appreciate that it’s a message of encouragement and hope that a person with an autoimmune disease can get through the difficult times, learn to thrive, and learn to cook and eat delicious, healthy food as well.
If you’re interested in cooking or food blogs, you’ll enjoy this book, but you’ll also want to read it if you have dietary restrictions. Or gift a copy to someone who does! Food Saved Me will be released on Tuesday September 14th.
I received a free e-book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
Herbal tinctures are a form of plant medicine used by Western herbalists. Whether you’re a clinically trained herbalist, a folk, community, or family herbalist, tinctures are easy to make, easy to use, and effective.
My formal herbal training so far has been based in aromatherapy (Western) and Ayurvedic herbalism (Eastern). Ayurveda differs from Western herbalism in that it usually requires rather large doses of bitter or otherwise not very palatable herbs. (If you can get Americans to swallow several grams of powdered herbs in hot water a few times a day, it’s a small miracle. Let’s face it, we’re wimps.) I usually put powdered Ayurvedic herbs, such as Triphala, Shatavari, and Dashmula, into capsules with my capsule-filling machine.
Large doses can make sense because most herbs are gentle and subtle compared to a tiny pharmaceutical pill. And sometimes a pharmaceutical option is what we need. But for all the times when it’s not, we can use plant medicine, along with other modalities, to work with our bodies and nurture them back to balance.
When it comes to Western herbalism, tinctures are an easy way to take medicine. Just put the drops in water and drink. My number one tincture, my favorite plant ally, is St. John’s Wort. Depression runs in my family, and it’s something that’s always with me, along with its friend, anxiety. Sometimes it’s just a small shadow in the corner and sometimes it threatens to take over. But it’s always been something I address in natural ways.
And before I talk about St. John’s Wort any further, if you’re thinking of trying it, make sure you read this article that lists side effects as well as contraindications with many pharmaceuticals. Educate yourself about your own health and always check with your health care professional before taking any new drugs, herbal or otherwise.
St. John’s Wort may reduce the symptoms of mild to moderate depression, anxiety, PMS, menopause, ADHD, can improve sleep, and more. My experience with it has been excellent, but I don’t take any pharmaceuticals and was aware to look out for possible side effects when I started taking it. (I never experienced any side effects.)
Fill the jar 1/3 to 1/2 full of dried herbs. Cover with vodka and screw on the lid. Label and date the jar and put it on a dark, dry shelf. Check it every day or so, giving it a gentle shake, topping up the jar with more vodka so the herbs stay covered. Let it sit for 4-6 weeks, shaking every once in a while, then strain through cheesecloth into a clean jar or into clean dropper bottles. Label and date the jar or bottles.
Health Disclaimer: Any statements or claims about the possible health benefits of herbs, essential oils, flower essences, or other plant medicine I write about on my blog have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease or condition. The words in this post are my own opinions, based on my own experiences. Please see your health care professional before you take any supplement and if you need medical treatment of any kind.
You made it! It’s Friday and the weekend ahead is perfect with possibility. I’ll share a few resources that have inspired me lately in hopes that your heart will be encouraged.
Online Challenges:
Have you heard of #Last90Days Challenge? Rachel Hollis started this challenge so that we can all end the year strong. You can listen to this episode from the Rise Podcast to hear Rachel share the story behind the challenge and talk about her 5 to Thrive. I am participating this year and would love to know if you are as well!
If you’re into drawing, you can join Inktober, an online challenge to improve your drawing skills. Check it out on Instagram and follow the hashtag!
And if you’re into watercolor painting, Wildthorne is doing an art journal challenge and giveaway. Even if you don’t paint, check out this gorgeous Instagram and website. Alan gave me one of their handmade paint sets last Christmas and it was my favorite gift!
Cookbooks:
Since I am a new Ayurveda student, I bought a few Ayurvedic cookbooks to help me with my learning process. Here are two that are great for beginners that I’ve been cooking from the past couple of months.
Eat Feel Fresh: A Contemporary, Plant-Based Ayurvedic Cookbook by Sahara Rose Ketabi. This book is beautiful! Every single page has photos of flowers, gemstones, Sahara Rose, delicious food and of people and places in India. All of the recipes I’ve made so far were easy to follow and came out successfully. The coconut lime quinoa is a keeper!
The Everyday Ayurveda Cookbook: A Seasonal Guide to Eating and Living Well by Kate O’Donnell is so easy to cook with! The recipes are practical and simple with short ingredients lists and clear, light, and lovely photos. This one has recipes that you will make over and over because you don’t have to put much work into them.
Podcasts & Books:
Yep, Brendon Burchard’s podcast, The Brendon Show, definitely inspired me lots this past week. These episodes on Social Media Strategy and Email and Social Media Marketing were two I listened to at least twice.
In Episode 200 of What Should I Read Next podcast, Anne and her producer Brenna interviewed 8 guests of past episodes to see what recommendations they read, which ones they didn’t, and what was new in their reading lives.
I loved this episode of Just the Right Book podcast, Roxanne Coady interviewed Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. I immediately downloaded the book for Kindle and am enjoying it immensely!
And I must mention this book: The Abundance Project: 40 Days to More Wealth, Health, Love, and Happiness by Derek Rydall. I realized this summer, that I had some mindsets that were holding back my personal and business growth and success. I’m about halfway through and am going slowly, doing all the practices, taking notes, and intend to read it and his former book, Emergence, over and over, until the principles take root and become a natural part of my thinking, emotions, and actions.
Readers, I would love to know: what has inspired you this week?
“Outer order contributes to inner calm.” Gretchen Rubin
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” William Morris
Good Intentions
There are so many wellness habits we may be working on this fall to improve the quality of our lives: sleep, exercise, or mindfulness, or diet. It is absolutely necessary to build these healthy habits for living your best life. Today, though, I want to focus on another area that is just as personal: your home.
Your living space should reflect the kind of life you want to live. This means being intentional about what you want your life to look like. Have you ever spent time visualizing the home you want to live in? Have you written down words that reflect how you envision it? Do you want a warm, welcoming peaceful place to enjoy your life, and time with family and friends? Do you want to feel at ease and comforted whenever you walk through your door?
I set my intention years ago when I decided that I wanted my home to be peaceful and comforting to me so that I enjoyed being there every day, and so that my family and friends wanted to be there too. And I highly recommend that you take some time to think about the kind of life you want at home and write down a list of ways you want it to be. Stick it to your fridge door or inside a cabinet door so you can see it often.
Two Habits
Since I wanted a peaceful, comforting living space, I had to form two habits: 1. I had to clean my house regularly (bathrooms, kitchen surfaces, dusting, vacuuming, mopping), and 2. I had to regularly tidy and get rid of things I no longer used. This second habit is the key to easy, fast cleaning and an organized, tidy home, and it actually comes first.
Until I met Alan and moved into our very large 1850s house, I always lived in small apartments and houses with not much room for storage. So I got used to looking over my belongings and giving things away/taking things to Salvation Army every month or so. My mom did this regularly and I saw the wisdom in it. I always have a bag started with things we are finished using, wearing, reading, etc.
The More Stuff You Have, The Harder it is to Clean
You might think cleaning your house once a week is impossible, but what is behind the resistance? Does the task seem overwhelming to even think of? Is the overwhelm related to the amount of stuff you have accumulated in your home?
Think of the top of your dresser, for instance. Is it covered with stuff? Piles of clothes, bottles of makeup, loose change, trinkets, and knick-knacks? Do you find it easy to dust that dresser top? How often do you get around to it? I’m guessing if it’s covered with stuff, you don’t get to it often because it’s such a pain to take everything off to dust it.
If you were able to put all the clothes where they belonged, put your bottles in a basket, and maybe just had 1-3 knick-knacks displayed, it would be a breeze to dust that dresser! To quote the title of Mari Kondo’s book, it really is life-changing and magical to tidy up.
Litmus Test for Tidying
Do you know what you own? I like to be able to locate anything I own without searching for it. When I can’t find something, I know it’s time to spend a few days tidying, and getting rid of things I don’t need anymore. This allows room for what is coming next in my life. If I am holding on to stuff I no longer need or use, this is symbolic of holding onto the past and not being willing to move forward in life. I don’t want that! No matter how good the past was, I want to have room in my life for the goodness and abundance that is coming next.
How to Tidy To Change Your Life
Marie Kondo recommends focusing on one category at a time. And if you have a whole day at a time to do this, then go ahead. Gather all the clothing in your home, pile it on your bed, and start deciding. But if you have a busy life, are a chronic pack rat or just don’t like to clean or tidy, I recommend focusing on one room at a time.
For example, start with your bedroom. And then break that down into manageable bites, like doing one dresser drawer each day. Then move on to your closet and do the top shelf first, and work your way down, one day at a time. After a week or so, depending on how many drawers and shelves you have, you’ll have a whole room done.
If you do it the KonMari way, she has you pull all the things in one category (like clothing) out from the space you’re going to tidy and hold each item in your hand. If it sparks joy, it’s a keeper; if it doesn’t, you can give it away to a friend or to goodwill, sell it, or recycle it.
After you’ve gone through the clothes from one drawer and decided what to keep, you can learn how to fold them using the KonMari Method: I learned this on Youtube. There are videos here and here. Even underwear and socks can be folded neatly!
When you first learn to fold this way, it will seem slow and awkward, especially if you could win a lifetime messy folder award (like me). But once you experience the thrill of opening your drawer and seeing all of your clothes at once, you will never go back to just stuffing stacks of clothes into a drawer. It actually is a timesaver!
Cleaning is Easy Now
Once you’ve gotten rid of excess stuff, you can tidy daily and pick a regular day or night to clean. If you have kids, they should each learn to tidy and clean; you’ll teach them healthy habits that will benefit them their entire lives.
On cleaning day, I like to do my bathroom and kitchen surfaces first, then dust furniture and shelves, vacuum, and mop. People often think because my home is clean that I enjoy cleaning. The truth: I don’t! But I do enjoy the result. And I like the sense of control I feel. I may not be able to change certain things in my life today, but I have control over the beauty and order in my home. And you do too!
If you’ve tidied using the KonMari Method, or some other way, share about it in comments!
I read this as a young mom and it was very helpful for me to be more intentional with my home and family. She has helpful forms you can use and many natural cleaning recipes. If you are a parent, read this book!
This is like the bible of housekeeping. If you need to know how to iron something, how to get a particular stain out of a tablecloth, how to clean every kind of surface you can imagine, or why you should even clean in the first place—you will find it all within these pages. I read this as a very young person and think every home should have a copy.
Aromatherapy Blends
Cleaning Day Blend
Place drops in diffuser, fill with distilled water and diffuse for 1-3 hours
We were getting ready to drive to a music gig near Keuka Lake, filling water bottles, ironing clothes, and packing snacks when I spotted the mail basket. I rifled through the pile and came across a letter addressed to me from the U.S. District Court. Oh no!!! (Oh, yes.) It was a jury summons–but this was worse than usual: for a period of at least a year, several times per month, an hour and a half drive each way.
At the moment I felt like freaking out, but we had a three-hour performance that afternoon, so I read it over once and set my freak-out aside until after our show. By the evening, my chest felt tight, by the end of the next day, I had a sore throat and my shoulders and neck were sore with tension.
I filled in the online questionnaire and gave a valid excuse why I couldn’t serve (my business can’t survive without me), but I have to wait three weeks to find out if I still have to go.
So, now I have a choice to make: I can live each moment until then in fear, worry, upset, dread, and panic, or I can find ways to act and think differently–with positivity, joy, and courage.
Gretchen Rubin’s Third Commandment from her Happiness Project is “Act the way you want to feel”. Does that seem too much like “Fake it till you make it”? But think about it: Where will those good feelings come from if we don’t take the energy we have and transform it into something better?
If you don’t happen to wake up happy and positive each day, do you just let that dark cloud of gloom hanging over you ruin your whole day? I’ve absolutely been guilty of this. I’ve also had days where I wake up super negative but do the things I know will propel me out of my funk.
The first scenario is a passive one: I just go with whatever happens, just feel whatever feelings I feel and act however I feel. The second scenario is active: I take what I have and make something better out of it. Do you know these are both decisions?
You and I can either decide that we will let our feelings run us OR we can decide that we will run our feelings. You are more powerful that you realize! You have the power to make or break your day!
But what about if you’re already an anxious person (like I am) and you happen to be in an extremely anxious season? The Fall seems to heighten anxiety for me and I know I’m not alone. We don’t have to take it! (Does this remind you of a certain Twisted Sister song?)
I wanted to share a list of things that help me calm down. Some of these I am learning in Ayurveda School, some of them I’ve learned in the HSP class I’ve been taking, some I’ve learned as an aromatherapist, and some I’ve discovered on my own. They all help, but there’s just one catch: We have to actually do the things!
Get up before the sunrise.
Practice meditation/pray.
Journal and write your manifestations. (Listen to Rachel Hollis in this podcast episode on why.)
Visualize how you want your day to go, walk through any known difficulties and decide how you will handle them. (Thanks, Brendon Burchard, for your awesome High Performance Planner!)
Develop a daily yoga practice. It could be 5 minutes or 90 minutes, but practice. There is nothing else like it for calming the mind, connecting the mind and body, and grounding you.
Drink herbal tea/coffee substitute. You know what? I don’t love most herbal teas, but I drink it because it calms me down. Lemon balm has been daily go-to. However, I just found a new caffeine free gluten free herbal tea that satisfies my coffee craving without the jitters. If you’re a coffee nut like I wish I could still be, you gotta try it: Teeccino Dandelion Coconut Roasted Herbal Tea.
Go for a walk outside. I always feel refreshed and my nervous system feels soothed when I do.
Eat lots of plants.
Have a gratitude practice. This could be in your journal in the morning or at night.
Keep a positives journal. This is new to me, but the teacher of the HSP class said sensitive people focus on the negative too much and need positive things to keep them grounded. Make notes of what good things happen in a day, things you love, moments of happiness, and then read through these when you’re feeling anxious.
Read poetry. YES!!! If you think you don’t like poetry, start with children’s poems and approachable poets like Mary Oliver and David Whyte. Poetry speaks to and nourishes the soul, the emotions I would say that if you’re a sensitive person, like I am, you may not be able to read some poetry that tends to be chaotic, angry, and violent. I tend to gravitate toward poems that express reverence for nature and that speak to the inner life of a person. These are a good place to begin:
Get a massage whenever you can anddo self-massage daily. Even if you don’t get to a full body self-massage every day, which I highly recommend, at least do a foot massage right before bed. Some warm sesame oil and a drop or two of Lavender essential oil massaged into your feet will send you into blissful slumber.
Practice positivity. Focus your thoughts and speech on “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.” This is found in Philippians 4:8.
Spend time processing your day: thinking about and journaling about it. According to my HSP teacher, sensitive people need about two hours of alone time each day.
Take one day off per week. Does this sound impossible? I know, it’s pretty difficult for me as well. When I do it, my life is better. We all need adequate rest and time for recreational pursuits. Work on this one and I will too!
Use an aromatherapy diffuser near your desk while you work and in your bedroom at night. Turning it on for an hour or two at a time is a wonderful way to calm down your mind, emotions, and your whole body. Calming essential oils like Lavender, Roman Chamomile, Black Spruce, Cypress, and Mandarin are a few to try, either individually or blend a few together.
That’s my list. I hope you find some useful tools to help you handle bouts of anxiety. I would love to hear about what things help you when you are feeling anxious.
And, finally, here is an aromatherapy blend to use in your aromatherapy diffuser.
Calming Blend For Anxiety
1 drop Vetiver
2 drops Black Spruce
2 drops Red Mandarin
3 drops Lavender
PS: Today’s title was taken from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis: “But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, “Courage, dear heart,” and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan’s, and with the voice a delicious smell breathed in her face.”
This week, for Wellness Wednesday, I’m focusing on attentiveness. Charlotte Mason, my homeschooling mentor, called it “The Habit of Attention”. Many call it mindfulness. If you’re thinking, “What does this have to do with wellness?”, that’s a great question because it means you are paying attention and letting curiosity get the better of you!
What started me thinking about paying attention is this online class for HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) that I’ve been taking. I’m learning lots about how to thrive rather than simply survive as a person who processes life differently than most. I’m discovering what my strengths and weaknesses are as a person with this trait and how I can navigate the high levels of emotion that come with it, how I can conserve and replenish my energy, and how to ask for what I need.
It’s kind of crazy that it’s taken me this long in my life journey to begin learning these things, but as the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” And one thing that stands out from this class is that in order to implement my newly acquired tools and techniques, I need to learn to pay more attention.
It Starts With Me
First, I need to pay attention to myself. This is a bit of a challenge for me because I lived most of my life in a culture that was all about service to others. I still absolutely believe in service to others, just not in a way that leaves me completely out of the equation. Even Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”, which implies self-love.
I need to ask myself, “What do I need?” when I’m starting to get tired, upset, overwhelmed, etc., rather than to just keep going until I get to meltdown mode. And “Do I have this to give?” when someone asks something of me. If I’m already in a depleted state, I’ll be giving from a negative, resentful place. If I can live from a place of love and compassion toward myself, I’ll be much more loving and compassionate toward others.
Focusing on the Good in Others
Second, I need to pay attention to others. And by this I mean to focus on the positive qualities that each person has. HSPs can nitpick, obsess, and tend to focus on negative things, especially when tired and emotionally overwhelmed, which is a lot of the time if we aren’t paying attention to our needs. I need to make lists of the good things about those I love and know and repeat those things to myself and say them out loud to them.
By sharing the things I admire and appreciate about others with them, it will encourage them and reinforce the truths about who they are in my own brain. When I’m with my husband, my kids, or my friends, I need to focus on their words, on their faces and gestures, and savor the moments we have together.
Nature
Third, I need to pay attention and connect with nature. Put on my shoes, step out the door, look, listen, breathe, feel, and notice. What do I see? What sounds can I hear? Does the sun feel hot on my back or the wind feel like it’s pushing me while I walk? What kind of bird is singing in the apple tree? Where is that tang in the air coming from?
Slow Down
And this is the kicker for me: In order to cultivate the art of attentiveness to myself, others, and to the world, I NEED TO SLOW DOWN!!! My smart husband is always telling me this and until I started this class, I inwardly resisted. “But I have so much to do! I’ll never get things done if I move around like a snail.”
During week one, the teacher said, “HSPs need slow mornings”. She said if you start the day off at a clip, your emotional brain revs up, is on high alert, and you quickly lose “energy points”. That explains why I’ve been tired within a few hours of waking up for most of my adult life.
At my teacher’s suggestion, I’ve begun a daily meditation and mindfulness practice. Waking up and meditating first thing in the morning has been a huge help to me this past month. I used to jump out of bed and start on my to-do list, but now I take a few minutes to pay attention to my breath and that sets the tone for the rest of my day. It’s training me to notice my needs so that I don’t overextend myself emotionally and physically. I can give to my family, work better, and still have energy left to enjoy life. And this is living well.
Books
Want to read more about slowing down and paying attention? Here are two non-fiction books on the subject plus a book of poetry that you might be interested in.
And here’s an aromatherapy blend that will help you focus and cultivate attentiveness. Place drops in diffuser, fill with distilled water, and diffuse for 1-2 hours at a time. Best during the daytime hours.
1 drop Cardamom
2 drops Cedarwood
3 drops Lemon
If you would like to tell us how you’re learning to be more attentive, please share in the comments!
Life of Kim 