How are you feeling concerning what’s happening in the world right now? If you could settle on one emotion, to get to the root of all the other emotions you might be experiencing, is it fear? It seems to me, from listening to people over the past couple of weeks, that fear is very strong. Many of us are living in survival mode and in that state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. I am mostly noticing the fighting–those who are angry and loud, and the freezing–those who are staying still and quiet. And it’s all because we’re scared.
What can we do with all this fear? Have you spent the past few weeks walking in circles, not taking care of yourself, self-medicating with too much screen-time and too much junk food? Too much wine? In a daze? In a funk? Not knowing what to do with the worry and anxiety? This is probably the norm and I’ve felt it too. However, staying stuck in our heads and abandoning our bodies and the world immediately around us will not help anyone. It won’t help people who are suffering and it won’t help us to be supportive of those we care about.
Even in the midst of worldwide chaos and uncertainty, we can set a table, light a candle, and sit down together for a wholesome meal. (Do you remember that last scene in the film Don’t Look Up when they made a meal and all sat down together even though they knew it was their last supper?) We can take a walk in the sunshine or in the lashing rain. We can pick up clutter, fold the laundry, and take out the recycling. When life is chaotic, we need to bring order and beauty into our lives. This is our defiance against the darkness, as Sarah Clarkson so aptly put it in a recent podcast episode.
This is our work. And this is part of our love for the world. It starts with us. Love your neighbor as yourself, says that Golden Rule. Yes, we pray, weep, march, or call our elected officials to change things. But first, we love ourselves and care for what we have. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but we have today.
Why? You fill your own cup first so you’ll have something for yourself and to give others. Fill your own lamp so you can light the way for yourself and others. Only you know what this means for you. For me, this means my early morning practices. What I do before others need me and the day really begins. This usually includes: prayer, meditation, yoga, my morning pages, inspirational reading, exercise, a good breakfast, my herbs and other supplements. If I do these things, I feel strong and ready for what comes. Much more so than if I roll out of bed groggily and too late for these practices and have to answer emails and complete tasks right away. What I do first thing affects the rest of my day, replenishes me spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Another way to think about it is to take care of what you have. Our job is not to worry about tomorrow, but to live our lives fully today. And part of this is to take care of what you have. Don’t neglect your responsibilities. You live in a body, so care for it. Feed it delicious food that delights the senses and that will help you to feel your best. If you’re an adult, you must know by now which foods make you feel alert and energized and which ones make you feel dull and sluggish. Exercise every day. Whether it’s ten minutes of stretching, an hour-long class, a walk, a run, Pilates, whatever, just move your body. Remove clutter and tidy up your living areas. You experience more calm when your living space is clean and orderly than if it’s a disaster. If you’re not good at this, no excuses–learn how. If you’re reading this, you have access to the internet which means you can learn how to do nearly anything. And donate whatever you don’t find beautiful, useful, or haven’t used in a year so you can live lighter and will have less to keep clean.
These are just a few examples of what we can do when life is chaotic. The go-to might be to comfort ourselves by overeating, not moving, and letting our lives fall apart, but that is actually not comfort as I posted about in the spring. The etymology of the word “comfort” means to strengthen much, to give or add strength to. Not much strengthening is happening when we’re eating a whole bag of chips, tankards of beer, and watching a whole season of some Netflix show while the house goes to rack and ruin around us. We are actually weakened by this.
So, love yourself today and give yourself a chance to feel more calm, strong, and centered by taking care of yourself, by filling your own cup first. Because we are needed to be lamps in the dark for others. To point the way toward goodness, peace, love, and beauty.
Life of Kim 