Slowing Down and Paying Attention

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It’s Tuesday and I hope you’re feeling like you’ve gotten into a good groove for your week. If I’m honest, I’m still getting there. No excuses, I’m starting over with the habits I know are best for me in this season, but I am feeling a little beside myself or outside of myself. Recently, I listened to On Being’s Krista Tippet interview Ellen Langer on The Science of Mindlessness and Mindfulness

From the twenty minutes or so that I listened to the podcast, what I heard Ellen Langer say was that mindfulness is simply paying attention to one’s surroundings and noticing what’s new. She said this can have a positive effect on relationships if you look for two or three things you haven’t noticed before (or for a while); rather than assuming you know everything about someone because they have grown so familiar to you. Maybe you just need to look a little closer?

When I homeschooled my kids, I followed the Charlotte Mason Method. One of her principles was to train children in “the habit of attention“. Isn’t that a worthwhile and wise goal? Habits, when formed young, can stay with one for a lifetime. To form a habit of paying attention and to have that be part of a child’s education is a brilliant idea.

It’s so true how much we can cruise around our lives, doing the dailies and forgetting to notice the amazing, the miraculous, the wonderful all around us and indeed, that we are wonderfully put together. If you are a gratitude journal person, this is one way the world can come alive again and you can begin to look at things with new eyes, with childlike wonder.

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What happens when you stand in a field, take a walk in the woods or down the road, or simply go out your back door and watch the trees, rooted and flexible, as they bend and sing to the wind’s song? Don’t you sense a peace and lightness as the day’s worries slip away and you begin to recall your connectedness to the beauty strength of the world you live in? And you slow down, breathe in the scent of pine, cut grass, fallen leaves, snow and you are renewed?

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Take a few minutes today to step outside or walk or hike. Slow down and really see your backyard or the field across the street. And inside, what beauty is in a corner, on the table, or windowsill that you might have missed? What about your family?

I noticed how how adorable my teenaged daughter looked with her hair half up and little curls framing her face. And again this morning, before I drove her to school, I thought how pretty she looked with her hair in a bun, how long her lashes are. I noticed my son’s attractive face as he drove past me on his way to school. I noticed the kindness around Alan’s eyes and the happiness that radiates from his face when he’s being silly.

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Alan with fresh local turmeric.

And I looked around my kitchen tonight and snapped some photos of things that brought me joy.

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Roasted apples and butternut squash.
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Tiny Bell peppers from our garden.
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Tulips, a locally-made beeswax candle and a lovely colorful salad.

Do you have a habit of attention or do you need help paying attention to your actual life? I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

Starting Over with Habits

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I know when I’m productive. I love the rhythm of daily practice once I’m steadily engaged in healthy habits. I thrive with the structure as well as the encouragement I feel from the momentum as I build on a skill day by day.

You know how life tends to derail us all at one time or another. And for me, when one habit falls by the wayside, I feel so much like a failure I tend to let others slip out of focus as well. Before I realize it, I let weeks go by without doing the things I know keep me sharp and challenge me to greater things.

Here is a list of some habits I have made my own:

Morning Pages

Bullet Journaling

Practicing Piano

Blogging

Gratitude Journaling/Being Thankful

Exercise

Reading

Taking supplements

Walking

Taking Photos

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After a season of upside down, I am returning to a sort-of normal and incorporating these back into my daily life. It makes me feel like I’m a worthy and useful human. Getting up early, going to the gym, doing Morning Pages and updating my bullet journal, and generally accomplishing good and healthy things help me function well throughout my day.

If I know I exercised, I can check it off my list, plus my body is less likely to feel stiff or sore if I got my heart rate up and body warm with cardio, did some resistance training and stretched afterward. If I took my supplements, particularly my B vitamins and my probiotics, I’ll have more energy and digest my food better. Practicing piano relaxes me when I’ve been writing or working at some other task for too long. Getting outside for a walk when I’m stressed or just to think a little brings me new perspective and reminds me how small my problems are when think about the vastness of our planet and space. Making time to read, fills my mind with other people’s voices, points of view, stories and ideas, so I get out of my head and learn. Practicing gratitude helps me rise above the melancholy I tend to fall into as an INFJ.

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Do you have a list of habits that help you live better? I’d love to hear from you!

Resting from the Rat Race

 

 

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If you’ve ever tried to rest while at home, for a staycation or just a day off, you know how difficult it is not to get caught up in work of some kind. If the house is cluttered, or dishes or clothes need to be washed, or I think about when was the last time I mopped, it is hard to relax. You actually have to develop a practice of resting. It sounds crazy, but it takes work to rest well. Which is probably why in religious circles where Sabbath is observed, the day before is a time to clean and cook and prepare for the time off. Then when the day comes, it feels so good to spend the time doing nothing or doing what you enjoy.

Some of my favorite things to do:

  • Reading
  • Hiking 
  • Listening to an audiobook (Yes, I know, it’s reading too)
  • practice painting with watercolor or acrylics
  • playing piano
  • writing a song
  • writing anything
  • napping
  • watching a movie       

Do you have a regular rest day? Do you struggle practicing this or do you have a habit of resting? What does a rest day look like to you?

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This Yoda chilled in front of the Mutron Warriors while they performed at Wagner last weekend.

 

 

 

Links I Love

 

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Following in the footstep of other bloggers, I am sharing a collections of blog posts and articles from around the web that encouraged or inspired me this week.

Here is an article from Poets & Writers Magazine that lists fifty literary magazines and small presses that have no fee for submissions. This makes me happy! Here are fifty free chances to be published somewhere!

Seth Godin tells us to stop worrying so much about Google and SEO and do important, unpredictable work in his post Machine Unreadable.

Food and Wine have 20 Curry Recipes on their website. Some are pure meat and some contain meat, but some are vegetarian or pescatarian. And I certainly know how to adapt recipes.

Modern Mrs Darcy educates us on book awards we may not be aware of. She also talks about time management in this post and mentions using Eisenhower boxes which I first saw in Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, but never knew that’s what they were called.

The recipe for raspberry almond crumb bars on Sarah Bakes Gluten Free makes me want to try it!

My favorite podcast episodes: Just the Right Book podcast episode  about a heroic true story in Nazi-occupied Paris and Jen Hatmaker’s For the Love podcast episode with the author of the Against all Grain cookbook.

 

Happy weekend adventures to all!

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Local Wines I’m Drinking Lately

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Photo credit: http://www.winemaps.com

I am privileged to live in the Finger Lakes Region of New York State. Specifically, to live between Cayuga and Seneca Lakes. I can drive to a winery in ten minutes or less. They’re so close and there are so many.

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Photo credit: http://www.glenora.com

This summer and fall, I’ve been into whites and Rieslings in particular. Here are a few of my favorites:

Glenora Lake Series Riesling

 

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Wagner Vintner’s Riesling (only available in stores)

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Red Newt 2016 “Circle” Riesling

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Heron Hill Ingle Vineyard Riesling

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Although they are all from different vineyards, they all are easy to drink, medium-sweet, go with lighter fare and are inexpensive.

(I buy my wines from Trumansburg Wines and Spirits or from Northside Wine & Spirits in Ithaca.)

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Photo credit: http://www.fingerlakeswinecountry.com

Do you have a favorite wine you are drinking right now?

The Company of Friends

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Judy and I at Moosewood.

 “Talk between women friends is always therapy…”
Jayne Anne Phillips

After a rather glum couple of days, missing my kids as only a mother can, I looked forward to a quiet evening alone. It was Halloween and at least one of my kids was trick or treating. They had rides already and didn’t need me. Alan had a date with one of his boys to watch the made-for-tv version of IT and I had a date with Scrivener, the program I just downloaded free for the duration of NaNoWriMo 2017. I needed to get comfortable with it before diving into writing.

As butternut squash, portobello mushrooms and onions roasted in the oven for dinner, I sat at my desk, trying not to hunch over my laptop. I was considering an Instagram post, starting to compose it in my head and enter the photos into Layout, when my phone rang.

It was a close friend, calling to ask if I’d like to rummage through her collection of fabric and take whatever I liked for my craft business. We talked shop–various fabrics and where to find them, craft fairs she knew of that I didn’t, and books, of course. Always books.

“There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.”
P.G. Wodehouse

We moved on to deeper subjects like close relationships, work, and health issues. And we talked of her coming over for dinner in the next week or so. Just the sound of her voice and the interaction over the phone brought such warmth and encouragement to my whole self.

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Ellie and I at The Watershed in Ithaca.

Although I didn’t realize it until she called, I needed a friend, a person who knew the real me, even if we were talking of weighty things. I didn’t mind that, but I was craving the connection, those minutes listening, learning, sharing and laughing as only two people who know each other can do.

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Sandy and I at Hector Wine Company.

After we finished our conversation, my whole outlook brightened; the night no longer seemed lonely. I felt nourished inside instead of starving. I felt hope, possibility, and the joy of an afternoon or evening together to anticipate.

If you’re wondering if a friend or family member needs a phone call, text, or a letter in the mail, don’t hesitate, act on your hunch. If you’re feeling in need of a friend, reach out. We are healthier and happier with meaningful connections. We live longer. Let’s be grateful for the friends we have and nurture our treasured relationships.

“A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”
Lois Wyse

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Laurie and I at the Rongovian Embassy right before they closed.

 

My Book Stack

 

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I could talk about the books I’m reading every day, and I usually sneak it into the conversation somehow.  Happy November 1st! For those of you participating in NaNoWriMo for the first time ever, you may be wondering, “What on earth have I gotten myself into?” or perhaps you’re like me and scared but excited. Remember Seth Godin‘s question on the front of Poke the Box: “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” Well, when was it? This is a great opportunity. Let’s do this!

If you’re not participating in NaNoWriMo, you’re probably more sane than I, but hopefully you still love books and the reading life. I attempt to keep my Goodreads profile up-to-date, but I add, discard and finish books so frequently that it sometimes lags behind. Right now, it’s fairly current, give or take a few.

Here is the list of books I’ve been reading for a few days, months or a year:

168 Hours by Laura Vanderkam. I mentioned this in Monday’s post. We do have time–all the time we need to work, sleep, spend time with loved ones, do chores and errands, exercise and do the things we dream of doing.

Untangled by Lisa Damour. I heard of this on ModernMrsDarcy. If you have a teen daughter, if you’re confused or hurt by her behavior, you should read this. Lisa explains why and will take you through the seven stages of adolescence.

11/22/63 by Stephen King. A high school English teacher is asked to go back to 1958 and save JFK and a few other people as well. As are all King’s books, this one is gigantic, but I believe it’s going to be worth it.

Daughter of Smoke & Bone  by Laini Taylor is YA fantasy, about a blue-haired girl with super-powers and a dark past, so I’ve strayed from my usual picks. It’s interesting so far, I just need to discipline myself to dig in deeper.


The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae. Recommended on Modern Mrs Darcy, I picked it up and two minutes in I was laughing.

The Swan Thieves: A Novel by Elizabeth Kostova is very well written, but the story is slow and sad. Lots of unhappy domestic emotions. I’m hoping it ends up in a different place.

Old Friend from Far Away: The Practice of Writing Memoir by Natalie Goldberg is a book for writers, filled with prompts. I need to faithfully do two or three a day, but I hate rushing through her books. I want them to last forever. Her voice and realness combined with a generous dose of humor comfort me and help me when I’m struggling to push through self-doubt or procrastination.

Beauty: The Invisible Embrace by John O’Donahue. I’ve been savoring this book for a year. With two chapters to go, I’m telling myself it’s time to finish it. I can re-read it later.

What are you reading lately?

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