Day 22: Transition Tidbits

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So many people I know are in transition right now, including yours truly. What I’ve experienced and know is that while you’re in it, emotions are raw, negative thoughts can overwhelm, loneliness and fear live close by, and the questions about self-worth, purpose and future beg for your attention.

You might feel like you live in a dark place, as if you’re a seed in the ground, lying as if dead, solitary and useless. Nothing is happening! What’s the point of anything? Where are my people? Am I the only one?

If you’ve been through a transition or two in your life, you know the discomfort and misery associated with these seasons. The little glimmer of hope is: it’s just a season. There will be a close to this chapter and another one beginning. Here a couple things that are helping me through my own transition.

1. Dig Deep. While you’re here, you might as well quit ignoring the really important soul-searching you need to do. Explore the questions. Live the questions, as this poet said so eloquently on Goodreads.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

Sit with those words and live the questions. Live the tears, the disappointment, the hurt when friends distance themselves from you because they don’t get it, Think about what really matters to you, who are the people you care about and who care about you. You are grieving what was, what is lost.

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2. Reach out. Some days will feel like too much, which is why we all need people to help us through. Reach out to the people who love you: your spouse or partner, your parent, your friend. Let them listen, share their stories, walk with you through this.

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3. Give of yourself. On the flip side, give through your hurt. Invite someone to your place for coffee or dinner, help them with a project–basically, do something for someone else. It feels so good to give to another. Your suffering will be alleviated when you do this and you will strengthen the relationship with a person you love.

4. Be creative. As often as you can, build creativity into your life. You might have some open spaces in your schedule to pick up an instrument you’ve been meaning to practice, dust off your bookshelf and read the books you’ve accumulated, return to a hobby or craft that used to bring you enjoyment or try something new. Plant a small herb or flower garden or an indoor window box garden. With Youtube, you can honestly find out how to do just about anything.

5. Dream and plan. Also, take time to dream and plan. Take the limits off as you write your dreams and make plans to move toward them. Transition may be extremely disorienting and difficult, but now is the time that you will find new inspiration, new ideas and bursts of creativity. Don’t miss these opportunities! Don’t settle!

6. Act on it. As the ideas come to you, find a real way to bring them to life. You might change your career trajectory, you might launch a business, you might make many new friends, you might write a book, get into visual art, start building things, develop a passion for cooking, or learn how to DIY just about anything.

You still have a life with the potential for growth in every way possible. You will make it through. Be kind to yourself. You are on a journey that is unique to you. Today is full of wonder and discovery, if you keep your eyes open.

Here are a few book titles that may assist you on your journey:

Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen Covey

The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom by Henri Nouwen

Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer

 

Day 21: Doing All the Things

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I woke up at 6:40 yesterday morning, ready to say hello to the day. That’s rare. Especially since I went to bed close to 1AM. The sun sparkled over the lake and hillside as I put all my craft stuff into the car, kissed Alan goodbye, entered the address in my phone GPS and headed toward Searsburg.

(FYI: The night before, Alan had offered to help me, but since I had nothing heavy, I didn’t bother to wake him. When he came downstairs right before I left, he asked, “Why didn’t you wake me? I said I would help you.” I assured him he could help me unload the car when I returned home. And of course, he did.)

I arrived at the Grange first and asked if I was setting up there. They said they were full and I must have a table at the church. So I drove around the corner, parked and descended a short flight of stairs to the basement.

If you’ve been in church as often I have, you know the familiar church basement smell. Damp, but not unpleasant, with the cozy memory of many potlucks lingering in the air. The ladies had soup and sandwiches available for sale, so the smell of several delicious soups filled the room, as did sound of pleasant and comfortable conversations as women and a few men set up their table displays and chatted.

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I had a whole table and a half for myself, which provided ample room for my pillows and wreaths, as well as the natural body care products, felt dolls and ornaments I displayed. The people were very friendly and helpful and I felt immediately at home. My cousin, Erica, and her daughter were there, selling floral arrangements and jewelry. It was great having family there!

The day passed by fairly quickly. It wasn’t very busy, but people came steadily, two or three at a time, and walked around the tables. My friends, Laurie and Grace and Kathy and Dawn came, as well as my Aunt Judy and cousins, Jayna and Kaylee. Seeing them was the high points of my time at the sale.

At 2pm, I packed up and was just about to go, when Erica’s daughter came over and held out flowers in a cute Halloween vase. They were for me, she said. Isn’t so humbling and wonderful when someone does something so sweet and unexpected? I thanked them both and drove home feeling grateful for the generous-hearted people in my life.

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After lunch and a nap, Alan and I finished getting the kitchen set up, prepared food and started applying our makeup. It took an hour and a half! Oh my goodness, I was so ready to be done. Alan’s makeup came out looking better than mine because he was more patient and careful, (story of my life), but we finished, cleaned up and threw on our costumes just as our first guests arrived.

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Lights were on, decorations lit, Alan’s Halloween playlist going and we talked, danced, ate and drank until 2AM. Each guest raved about the spooky and fun atmosphere and our costumes and had a great time being here. We went to bed happy and satisfied we took the time to make this party happen.

 

 

Play, fun and celebration are important to the human experience and make us healthier and happier. Our days may be full, but we need to make time for the kid in us.

What are you planning in your life that is purely for enjoyment? I’d love you to share in the comments.