I just finished reading Madeleine L’Engle’s Bright Evening Star: Mystery of the Incarnation. A non-fiction book for the Advent and Christmas season or any time of year, really, it chronicled her life as it pertained to her faith story. In Madeleine’s intelligent, honest and thoughtful voice, she shares her unconventional childhood with two loving, artistic parents, her questioning teen years at boarding schools, her college and post-college years of searching, doubting and asking, and her years as wife and mother, writer and speaker where her faith became more natural, more a part of who she was. Because Madeleine was at ease with mystery and with not attempting to explain away everything, she has some fascinating tales to tell. It was not a book that will tell you what to think, but shows her way of thinking and encourages you to encounter the mystery of faith for yourself. I’m sorry to say that this book is out of print, but used copies, like mine, are available.

Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God made me cry, smile, nod in agreement, and clutch the book to my chest while muttering, “It’s so good.” He expresses humanity’s reaching, searching and wrestling with the Divine in such a tender, turbulent, up close, sincere and universal way that a person of any faith or none at all would be able to relate to these verses. I finished it on Tuesday night and immediately wanted to order one for my daughter. It’s also beautiful–a deckle-edged softcover with delicate white filagree on the silver spine.

Wendell Berry’s Terrapin: Poems  is my first poetry book by him. This was one of Alan’s Christmas gifts to me and in his signature natural, straightforward way, Berry takes us to his native Kentucky, among woods and hills, listening to leaves fall like rain, noticing flowers growing up in April, contemplating a snake’s October dinner “big with a death to nourish him during a long sleep”,and musings on how a terrapin “is always home”. Uncomplicated and lovely in its artlessness, these are poems to soothe a modern mind.

I’d love to hear from you. What are you reading in the new year?

Happy New Year! Every end of December and through most of January, I go into “hermit mode”, become introspective, and think, read, plan, pray, write and dream. It helps that I live in the Finger Lakes Region of New York and it’s about ten degrees Fahrenheit outside and it’s snowing. Here is what I wrote on the 31st:

On this last day of the year, I’m taking a few moments to get quiet and reflect. To slow down and listen. Listen for God. Listen to the wind in the pines outside my window telling me that I am small but not insignificant. Listen to hope telling me to keep believing in God’s love for me and all the world, for God’s ability to make all things new. Listen to the winter birds that do not worry, that are provided for and known. Listen to my own soul that wonders, asks, doubts, and believes.

This year, for me, was a combination of sorrow and joy, confusion and clarity, lack and abundance, conflict and resolution, darkness and light, doubt and belief, waiting and fulfillment, being misunderstood and understood, rejection and acceptance, loss and gain.

In an age where words find ways to stab and wound and destroy as well as mend and heal and bring life, I’m praying for grace to walk into the New Year with peace and health in my soul, mind, and body and that I will give these gifts to others in my words and actions. All things new. That no matter my failures of yesterday, there is still hope for me, today and tomorrow.

As often-quoted as the prayer of St. Francis is, it is in my head and heart today as I face the New Year and bid farewell to 2017:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

As you walk into 2018, may peace lead the way, may hope shine in dark places, and may joy find you wherever you are.

On this last Monday in November, as our half of the earth makes do with less sunlight while the other half gets their share, how are you holding up? If you’re from the U.S., was your Thanksgiving Day a happy, boisterous time with extended family crammed around a table, eating, conversing and giving thanks for all the goodness in their lives? Or was it fraught with tension if relatives don’t all get along or sadness if you missed loved ones who have passed away or at least moved far away? Or maybe it was a dinner with just one or two? Or a quiet meal alone.

When I was a child, before I’d lost any close family members or friends, I didn’t understand why adults would say the holidays were difficult. I knew that money issues made it stressful for parents wanting to buy gifts for several children. It wasn’t until my maternal grandmother died two weeks before Thanksgiving when I was seventeen, that I experienced my first hard holiday. And as the years went by, I lost two more grandparents, siblings moved or there were tensions between various family members.

This was my second Thanksgiving without my kids, so I know a bit more about the bittersweet way life can intertwine joy and sadness. Last year was tough to not have them with me. This year, as I knew they really wanted to be with their dad’s family in Pennsylvania, I focused on their happiness and, although I missed them and got a little teary-eyed a couple of times, I made the most of the quietness and relaxing atmosphere. We texted throughout the day and I thought of them often, but I decided to enjoy the day and I did.

Everyday, we can find ways to drown our feelings or choose to feel them all. I can smile and laugh one hour, but maybe cry later on. Float lightly on a moment of gratitude for goodness and fortune in life, but sink into a somber mood as I reflect on ways I’ve failed, people who’ve failed me and then comes the decision: Will I leave my heart open to love, to possibility, to believing that people are mostly well-intentioned and look for the best in every situation? Will I focus on the positive and enjoy everything I can in the life I have now?

That’s the question. I choose to look up. My favorite Normal Rockwell painting is entitled “Lift Up Thine Eyes”, because of the message, mostly. So many things to turn down our gaze, but we can choose to look up, to find the good, the best, the excellent that resides within people and the joy that is to be found even on difficult days.

I hope you enjoy every moment of daylight this Monday and remember to lift your eyes and not miss the best the day has to offer.

After a dinner of potato-leek soup, salad and roasted vegetables, I curled up in the library, thinking about the conversation my daughter and I had on our drive home. Last week while she was in oral surgery I was reading The Art of Possibility. There is a chapter that presents the concept of giving everyone an “A”, even if they don’t seem to deserve it. Look for the good, the possible, the contribution that each life presents or can be if they saw themselves that way.

We can have such low expectations of people sometimes, and certainly of loved ones who have not treated us how we believe we should be treated. There were several stories of adults being disappointed with their fathers because they had never seemed to show them love or understanding. After they were presented with idea of giving their parents an “A”, they were surprised to recall memories of tenderness or to find an endearing letter from the supposedly heartless father. Since I read that, I’ve been looking at my people differently, as humans with possibility for beauty, kindness, and love. Will I be still be hurt? Sure, but I can move forward with an open heart and look for the best.

Don’t we need to release people from our low expectations, our presumptions and assumptions? And just see them with fresh eyes, no limits and full of possibility and wonder.

So Ella and I talked about family matters, about how much she enjoyed her recent weekend with her dad’s side of the family, and she expressed the qualities about their family that she wishes everyone could experience: acceptance, kindness, respect and love. I agreed. “It’s so rare,” she said. (All the more reason to be thankful for her good fortune to belong to such a family.)

I’ve felt myself returning to a jaded view of human nature after a few negative experiences this weekend. You know what? I need to move on.Who knows what will happen tomorrow? I can learn and choose to look at everyone in my life as possessing the ability to communicate clearly and meaningfully.

If you have wonderful relationships, then Thanksgiving is a perfect time to celebrate them. If there is tension and disappointment and lack of communication in your circle, try giving everyone an “A” and celebrate all the good waiting to be discovered.

Mondays are the days of fresh workloads, new lists and new challenges. I have to shop for groceries for the week, pick up Christmas decorations that I cannot make myself, and most likely pick up my daughter after school and bring her home with me to spend the night. And I need to practice Christmas music for our concert Saturday, plus do some sewing for a Christmas order.

Does having a lot on your list make you antsy if you’re sitting or resting for a while? It’s super hard for me to relax when I have so much to do. But at the same time, that sense of too much to do weighs me down and makes me feel panicky. What to do?

This article was helpful. The best common sense idea was you can only do one thing at a time, so focus on that one and do the best you can. The other was to pick a high impact item off your list rather than accomplishing many small unimportant tasks. And on medium, this article reminded me of what I know is true: Find some quiet time each day just for you. Also, say no to everything that is extraneous.

So no matter how antsy I feel taking a break, I need to. Step away and breath, pick up an instrument, talk with my kids, take a walk, watch something funny, read for an hour. The rest does renew my willpower to keep working. And while I am working, I won’t think of other things I have to do, but will stay present and be here with the people I’m with, working with focus and living the moments I’ve been given on this Monday.

Are you feeling the challenge of this Monday, of this week? Let’s all encourage one another to do good work, enjoy our actual lives and be thankful this new day.

Here is where I share links to sites and articles I’ve read this week that have encouraged or inspired me. They may be new or just new-to-me, but I’ve followed curiosity’s path and here’s where it led me.

From IntrovertDear.com is an article about INFJ children. If you have one or were one, you will likely nod your head and possibly learn from it.

Here’s an article about people that don’t just choose to do one thing, but are interested or talented in several areas.

I’ve been re-examining my eco-friendly habits or the lack thereof and am revisiting the no-paper towel/napkin/ziploc idea. Or at least cutting back on those expensive one-use, throw-away items. Here are a few links to move me in the right direction: About kicking the paper towel habit. Here’s one for replacing paper products in the kitchen. Here’s another for making your own reusable food wrap. I’ve done this before and it’s super easy. I’m going to make a bunch more in the next couple of weeks. If you want a real kick in your green pants, check out Bea Johnson’s website. And one more is this how to on Furoshiki, which is Japanese fabric wrapping. I want to wrap gifts this way!!!

And last of all, gluten free, dairy free recipes for Thanksgiving. My daughter and I don’t eat meat, but the rest of the household does, so I ignore those recipes, but there are a lot of good ones. This one by Williams-Sonoma has a fennel soup I have to make. Here are a bunch from Jeanettes’ Healthy Living and from Gluten Free and More. One more from Go Dairy Free.

Happy Weekend and Happy Thanksgiving to you!